Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
