i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
