We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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