Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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