Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
