I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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