how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
