I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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