1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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