Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize