apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
