Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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