She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
