forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
