Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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