so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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