I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You're like the curious george of whores
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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