my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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