Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
