A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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