I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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