can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
