I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
