I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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