you guys were way drunker than both of me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
