ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
