What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
