Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
