you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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