If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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