so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
