He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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