Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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