if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
