where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
