Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
