Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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