on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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