The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize