Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
