i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
