Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize