I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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