Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize