I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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