Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
