this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
