she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
