i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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