I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
