Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You made out with two different species that night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
