I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
