he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
