I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
