it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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