so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
