Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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