Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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