is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
