I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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