My brain says no but my pants say off.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
