im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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