Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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