U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
