Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize